Learn to Laugh At It

 Learn to Laugh at it!

I came up with all these plans/ a daily schedule for my time at home . Wake up early, read the Bible, go to the gym, work for my dad, research, write for acting…It all sounded great but life doesn’t always work out like you expect and most of the time your plans don’t go accordingly. If you’re like me that will throw you off completely and maybe even make you feel uninspired to try and follow that plan tomorrow. I think that’s why planning things gives me so much anxiety now and I choose to act indecisive instead of planning. As a child you could tell I was a perfectionist. I had to make A’s, my ponytail couldn’t have a single bump in it and I liked to clean (on my own terms). Things had its place and I had to be the best at EVERYTHING! I loved to compete and if I wasn’t first, I was last. But time quickly revealed that if that was my mindset I wouldn’t get very far in life and so I adjusted. I don’t have everything figured out and fear still stops me more than I would like from making plans or moving forward with plans I have made. But I know we must be patient with ourselves during the transition stages of our lives. Be honest with yourself and if you have a plan and it doesn’t work today that doesn’t mean it won’t tomorrow unless you decide not to take action on it. 

One bible verse I came across today was 2 Peter 3:9 

The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance. 

How beautiful is that? We, mortal minds,  think if we don’t achieve ___ within the time constraints we’ve created for ourselves  it won’t happen. But God. HE doesn’t have any restrictions. Time for Him is irrelevant and nonexistent.  Because HIS plans for us is eternal and He is giving us time to relinquish whatever power we wish we had and rid ourselves of our egos to finally see that it is God who's in control. It is only with Him and through Him that we will finally reach the amount of “success” we’ve always wanted. A sense of belonging, of purpose, love, light and peace. So until you are able to relinquish control and learn to laugh at the days that don’t “go your way” you won't be able to see what beautiful plans He has for you!  No matter how it appears God is leading you to His Kingdom! 

June 16th, 2020: Prayer and Thanks

What comes with moving to a new city, state or country is uncertainty, sometimes anxiousness, and excitement. Maybe that's just for me. There's something about getting a new start that inspires me to be better; as if I'm recreating myself, or maybe returning to who I once was. When I first moved to Los Angeles back in September 2017 I felt all of those emotions and although most would think fear would be the most consuming it was not. Fast forward, June 2020, I moved to Atlanta, Georgia. Three years older but this time anxiety was at the forefront of my thoughts. I suppose it's justifiable. I moved when there's a pandemic and riots in the streets. 

Tonight though, I feel a sense of peace, confidence and hope. In the short amount of time that I've been here I've connected with kind, joyful individuals. I think more people here want genuine relationships. They're not just looking to network and move up in their industry all alone. 

God led me here and I'm glad I didn't fight it or stay in LA out of fear. He did this not only for me but for my brother, Andrew. He was planning on moving to Los Angeles, partially for me, so I wouldn't move back to Texas and give up on my dreams (as if that was an option) and partially for him to get a new start. 

Little did we know that we would both be getting new beginnings. Andrew decided to make an athletic tape for baseball and sent it to different colleges in hopes that he would be able to use his talent and eligibility to get a scholarship and finish his college education. To our surprise(not because of his athletic ability but age) he had great feedback and it looks like he will be attending a school in Phoenix, AZ this coming Fall. 

God does some amazing things if you let Him. He takes what you think you want and replaces it with something you could have never imagined. I am eternally grateful to be living with Mel again. I didn't realize how much I desperately needed to be surrounded with a friend like her; genuine, kind, God-fearing, inspiring, spontaneous, encouraging, and fun. God put her into my life when I was in college at a time when I was so low I didn't know if I could get out. It wasn't because of Mel that I got out of my depressive state but she did help whether she knew it or not. When Mel suggested I move to Atlanta with her I knew it was not luck. It was God. When she came around last time I was saved and I don't think it's a coincidence it happened again when I wasn't even aware that once again I needed saving. 

Thank you God for paving my path and throwing me a lifejacket each time I fell off course. Thank you Mel for being a true friend who inspires me to be a good person and to chase God in all that I do. Thank you Andrew for believing in my dreams so much so that you were going to move with me to make sure I kept going.  I will always support your dreams no matter how crazy or unorthodox they may seem because I truly believe in you!  And thank you mom and dad for supporting my decisions and my goals no matter how big they seem or how far they may take me. 

Sincerely, 

V.